Empty pages in my mind

Lost innocence of laughter and floral pink dresses
with forced pony hairstyles on stubborn coarse hair
scattered puzzle pieces of memories
Lost stories of sibling rivary over marble collections and toy soldiers
My brother's favourite army , not even my loudest screams could summon
Dont get me wrong I had a good childhood
My parents loved me they still do
Sticks and stones just broke my spirits
Hot loud breath thats what I feared most
for I knew it meant it was time
Time to be a big girl and lay still dont make a sound
Time to be the big beautiful who could keep a secret

So I lay close my eyes tight and I imagine a blue tide washing my shame away,I imagined my soul drifting with the wave in a slow still dance
I imagine how the waves bow as if to say I am loved
I try not to feel my innocence slipping with every teardrop
Empty pages in my mind as I scrub it all away
The floral pink dresses with forced pony hairstyles on stubborn coarse hair
The love that was never meant for a child
The Love that nearly broke my spirit ,
So here I am using words to heal my soul